


Unspoken Feelings

by krispyscribbles



Series: Rammstein [1]
Category: Rammstein
Genre: M/M, They're kinda homo bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 07:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krispyscribbles/pseuds/krispyscribbles
Summary: "...and everything was perfect in that moment."Snow and circumstance go hand in hand when Richard and Paul are in the same room.





	Unspoken Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so Paul kind of lives alone and don't @ me I know he's married and that Richard has a little daughter just let me live in peace.

Richard let out a shuddering exhale, the bitter chill of Berlin causing his breath to curl so similarly to his beloved cigarette smoke. It had been awhile since Richard had actually seen any of his bandmates, so he had made arrangements to see one of his closest friends. He was headed over to Paul's apartment in central Berlin to discuss new upgrades to their live gear (more like a cop out to spend time with his best friend), but not before he picked up Paul's coffee and pretzels from a small cafe nearby as a peace offering. Richard knew from experience that Paul had a rather colorful tongue in the mornings that Richard would rather not hear so early on a good day, so getting Paul his breakfast would settle him down quickly. A slight huff of a chuckle escaped Richard as he was reminded of a toddler, a guilty smile causing strangers to smile back at him as he walked down the street.

Within fifteen minutes of leaving his apartment, Richard had arrived to a quaint cafe that he and Paul frequented whenever they hung out together. A couple of the patrons waved idly, knowing that when Richard wasn't with Paul, he would be in and out as quickly as possible. When he and Paul would have a late brunch together, Richard would take the time to appreciate the faux-dingy impression that reminded him of New York. Most of the time, it was to avoid being the one to break the ice, even though he and Paul had been best friends for more than a decade. But today was not that day; Richard had nothing attaching him to this cafe in that moment and wanted to be in and out as fast as possible. Richard would be lying if he said that he wasn't excited to see Paul. The patrons smiled at Richard's anxious expression, knowing full well that he wasn't going to say hello like he usually did with his little friend. In fact, they thought it was quite endearing that Richard preferred to stay on Paul's whim rather than his own accord, but neither man knew that, nor did they care.

It didn't take long for Richard's order to materialize before him; the staff knew that Richard would become impatient, fussy and mutter underneath his breath if they didn't work fast on his order. Casey handed him the cardboard cup holder and two paper bags (for the sake of keeping the flavors separate) after Richard paid, wishing him a good day and for him to say hello to Paul for her. Something in Richard wanted to respond with a sharp, "no, I'd rather not," but he suppressed that quickly, his ears turning bright red in embarrassment as he left without a word. He knew that Paul's house was roughly three blocks away, so Richard's pace hurried so Paul wouldn't bitch at him for letting his coffee go cold. God knew that Paul would find anything to complain about, especially during the wintertime. 

The snow crunched beneath Richard's combat boots (that he stole from Schneider; seriously, he had a problem with stealing his friends' clothing). Richard felt an awful, unshakable cold seeping into his feet and making his entire body shiver. Thankfully, he could see Paul's apartment - the only one with little to no light seeping through his black curtains - so Richard took the last couple dozen steps before he almost broke his finger pressing the button to Paul's home. Paul was understandably grumpy at him, but the prospect of coffee and pretzels roused him to let Richard up. Of course they would.

There was no hug to greet Richard as he entered Paul's residence, but that didn't bother Richard. In fact, Paul barely managed to move out the way before Richard charged past him and set their breakfast on the counter. Schneider's boots were yanked off his freezing feet and Till's coat was draped carelessly over Paul's pompous L shaped couch; Paul wasn't in the position to protest, seeing as Richard's body was wracked with temporary shivers from the awful winter outside. They stood relatively close to one another, waiting for Richard's body to readjust to normal temperature. It didn't take long for Richard's little drama fit to pass, bringing an odd sense of relief to Paul's conscience. Paul shook his head as though that was going to disperse his overly protective thoughts and invited Richard to sit next to him on the window seat. He found himself hugging his still-warm pretzels and coffee close to his chest, hogging his blanket so as to ward off the superficial cold in his heated apartment. 

Richard took a moment to appreciate Paul, who was curled up in a turtle neck and puppy print pyjamas with a thick mink blanket cocooning him, before joining his best friend to enjoy breakfast as they stared at the picturesque winter skyline Berlin had to offer. The two of them ate in silence, taking glances of one another when they thought the other wasn't looking as they sipped on their cooling coffee. Neither would admit that the other man was adorable, lest they damage their pride, but the thought hung in the air around them. When they had finished their meager meal, both pretended to be captivated with the snow falling upon fellow Berliners, empty coffee cups encased in calloused fingers. Conversation just failed to strike; Paul would open his mouth and snap it shut like a fish, whereas Richard's lip would curl to begin to form words that would die on the tip of his tongue. A tense ten minutes passed between the two, until Paul got the balls to swing around and lean on Richard, still staring through the frosted window with half-hearted concentration. Richard's entire being tensed, but he eventually relaxed and draped his arms around Paul, both of them holding their coffee cups like the fools they were.  
Richard's free hand traced patterns into Paul's blanket, putting enough pressure for Paul to notice. He hadn't bothered to disguise his feelings of contentment by placing his chin on top of Paul's head and simply holding the other man closer than he usually would. Paul took their cups and set them on the slightly dusty floor, temporarily separating the two of them for the sake of comfort. Richard involuntarily whined from the back of his throat, covering it with a cough. Paul turned around and raised a fading eyebrow in question, prompting Richard to go red from embarrassment. They exchanged timid smiles before Richard stuttered, "I'm getting cold. Can we, uh, share the blanket?"

Paul grinned at Richard's stutter, which was so different from his confident, unwavering baritone. The comforting, familiar expression settled Richard's rapidly beating heart like a soothing nursery rhyme from his childhood. Paul leaned forward and eventually stood up, fanning out his dense blanket to drape over Richard. Said man smiled and stood as well, allowing the blanket to settle over his shoulders before he sat down and made himself comfortable. Paul followed soon afterwards and sat between Richard's legs, leaning on Richard's chest and curling up in an infantile position. Richard planted a kiss upon the crown of Paul's head before properly settling down, flinging the blanket over Paul and cuddling him close to his body protectively. No words were necessary for once, and everything seemed to be perfect in that moment. 

 

Silence could only last for so long for the two Rammstein guitarists; that was a commonly known fact. They could have half an hour of peace before Richard's or Paul's phone would ring, shattering whatever was between them and resetting them to their awkward dynamic. The current occasion was not an exception - Paul's phone rang from inside his room, making both of them sigh in exasperation. Richard reluctantly let Paul go to answer his phone, the heavy scent of Paul's masculinity surrounding Richard in the form of a blanket. He couldn't help but wonder if this blanket was Paul's favorite, because it was slowly becoming Richard's. Without even realizing it, Richard had bundled a small part of the blanket in one of his fists and held it close to his face, inhaling deeply. Paul's natural smell was surprisingly powerful for such a small man; the underlying scent of vanilla and mint had no match against the familiar masculinity that Richard knew (and loved).

Paul padded across his apartment, disregarding the books strewn on every possible surface and nerdy knick knacks he had collected over the years as he thought of what the hell just happened with Richard. In the time he had known Richard, he had never been so upfront about needing someone as he was just then. Paul felt a shiver go down his spine, somehow just knowing that Richard's significance just climbed a rung and that he was not ready for the big change. Years of adapting to an isolated lifestyle didn't go away one cuddle session later, even if Paul was craving the feeling of Richard's unnaturally smooth arms weighing him and making him feel more secure than he had in years. 

Paul's movements were robotic in quality, portraying his not-really-there mentality to the letter. He murmured the mandatory, "Landers," in greeting and was surprised to hear that it was indeed Olli who was calling. He had called to ask if Paul would want to go skiing tomorrow and if he could extend the invitation to Richard, as though he just knew that Richard and Paul would be together. After an awkward conversation, Paul said his farewell and hung up, subconsciously nabbing the jacket that Richard had loaned him but never asked for. The heavy coat had since lost the clean smell of Richard's detergent and spicy cologne because of how often Paul wore it around the house, but it was a safety blanket that Paul would fight tooth and nail to keep. 

Paul didn't need to worry about anyone stealing his favorite jacket; the only other person in his apartment was falling asleep. Richard's eyes were already slipping down by the time Paul returned; for some reason, it brought Paul joy to see Richard holding a fistful of his blanket close to his face, taking deep breaths in and slipping further into a daze. Richard only stirred when Paul tripped on their cardboard coffee cups, a droopy smile gracing his relaxed features. Something must have happened while Paul was gone, because usually Richard would hide away or be pulling on his shoes to leave. Maybe it was the building snowstorm or (dare Paul say it) the heavy blanket that Richard hung onto, but Richard wasn't going to leave anytime soon. "Come back under the blanket, Paulchen. You're comfortable," Richard said, his voice slurred from sleepiness. 

Who was Paul to deny someone as cute as Richard? Paul pried Richard's arm away, holding his wrist as he made himself snug in Richard's arms. Once he had settled down, Richard leaned heavily onto him, placing his head on top of Paul's but not before he planted a sloppy kiss on the crown of Paul's head. They stayed in the same position for hours, just watching the growing snowstorm. For once, Richard didn't care that he wouldn't be able to return home, because Paul was right there with him, sleeping in his arms. Paul couldn't help but smile in his sleep, his head leaning on Richard's muscular form without a sign of rigidity in his body. 

They both knew that they wouldn't be able to stay by the windowsill forever and that Richard would have to go home when the storm passed, but that was so insignificant in comparison to the feeling of being loved.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on:
> 
> Tumblr: krispy-posts.tumblr.com  
> Discord: krispy-chats


End file.
